Understanding walls and emotional struggles of relationships and how to co-exist
First off let me say.... thank you for taking the time to read any of my stuff. Greatly appreciated...
So.. what thats an interesting title right........
. Walls?? You know those random hurdles you put in the way to block yourself and others from a certain vulnerable place?? Yea those...
I have a friend who meets guys and when it isnt going well or lets say they are butting heads she says i just wanna have sex nothing more... theres a hurdle... 2 actually... one causing her emotional shut down for the other party and one for herself and her belief in her self worth... hope that helps...
Anyway understand that walls are not always flat out bluntly visable. Most people do things without knowing why.
Last night i talked to the guy i have been dating (not relationship) just literally dating for 9 months now, and he read my blog post about him..
And we had a conversation about putting up walls.
He admitted (i already knew it was in the blog) he had commitment issues and he himself didnt and does not know... he puts up walls the difference between us however mine are meant to be knocked down and jumped over his are to keep him in his current state. He didnt want to change or be changed. So when he built the impossible walls and i still managed to break through them he was alarmed and panicked... one thing i learned is sometimes... people dont wanna be changed or even their routine altered. Any difference that was unwanted or a slight change will send that person into borderline army defense mode.
In my oppinion woman put up walls to make a guy prove himself he is worthy for her. And to emotionally stabalize themselves from the past hurt. Men put up walls to keep their routine and not be vulnerable to be hurt even if they have or havent BEEN HURT before.
Overcoming walls is the end result but where do you start? Acknowledgement... why are they there?
Why are you trying to jump them?
What is your main goal in the situation?
Lets start with your main goals
Some people are like flowers... beautiful in a field growing naturally... if you are wise and have selfless intentionals you watch the flower from a distance enjoy its beauty and let it wither naturally... if you have selfish intentions you pluck the flower and shorten its life span but you can call it your own until it dies. Of course with your help..
To have no real good intentions for a person with walls but still going through the trouble to break them just for your own selfish gain is plucking a flower.
Knowing you have no good intentions and walking away is the most selfless thing you can do.. the right thing... all walls are not made for you to jump..
Now that we know why you are there decide is it what i need to do? Is it worth it? Sexual desires are not, will leave more damage. Egotistical desires are not, emotional void desires are not... if you are there for a real future... then put your running shoes on... if a future is not what you want.. you live in present and just walk day to day... no.. or make that clear.. some people dont have intentions... just b open minded if not.
Why are you trying to jump these boundaries for a person or yourself?
most woman dream of marriage. We were programmed to think that way... jumping your own walls too soon just to get to this point will only create more walls for yourself and others.. understand things come when they come and are not for everybody...
Sometimes its for ego... mayb fun.. just to see what happens having no real intentions. Lets not... you mess around fall in love after playing games with a person.. they leave you then what??? Or vise versa... you leave them because you had no intentions of staying.. these are problems... some things are just not worth it... no matter your reason evaluate and understand why. Then logically determine your walking direction.
toying with a persons emotions can end badly every body is not built for emotional stability and some people can take a lot less to push them over the edge. Understandable. But this is how people can be killed and hurt because of things like this. You never know what can happen so be aware of this.
Moral of the story here is if and only if your in the position to be where you are in life to then worry about this problem fix and understand it. On the other hand life dishes out enough problematic snacks for everybody, this may be the time to work on you and allow yourself to get to where caring for others in a stable open minded enviorment is an option.
Til the next bell be swell. And love life.